Monday, April 12, 2010

You desired my attention but denied my affections

so after much thought and contemplation.
well actually after little thought and contemplation cause it was obvious to me.
I've realised I don't actually like this new boy in my life.

I don't think I ever really did like him.
I think I just kinda liked the idea of finally liking someone (for some unknown reason I can never, ever, like ever seem to find someone who I'm like hey yupp I could spend my days with you)
So as much as I wish differently I feel nothing more than friendship.

I've seen him quite a bit latley.
I have fun when I'm with him.
Though we haven't ventured past kissing.
He even tried to teach me to skateboard but I'm so dam uncoordinated that I fell every time he let me go.
And every weekend he comes with his friends and visits me at work, then he waits for me to finish and we walk hand in hand to town hall and nightride it home. It's our thing.

So do I tell him or not? Weirdly enough I actually feel comfortable to.
But I feel bad cause I've been full acting like I liked him cause I genuinely thought I did.
And what if he gets mcshitty and so ditches me all up? and I don't want him too cause its kinda nice having someone there ( ew okay I'm so not that girl)
ooooorrrrrr he is leaving in June for 6months on one of those volunteering/lets build huts and teach lil poor kids english trips to India( see he's an effing nice guy) so maybe he'll be totally sweet with it and just let us keeping going how we are?
OR maybe I can grow to like him?
I don't know.
I just don't know.

- danielle x.