Ever get that condescending stare as you light up outside a school?
Ever cop the fake cough when your waiting to cross the road?
Ever been told to stand somewhere else because your smoke is "blowing into our store"?
Well I have, many a time.
Usually its followed with a "go fuck yourself, have a nice day"
However, sometimes I get creative. For example;
The other day a woman pulled up next to me at the lights after I had thrown a cigarette butt out of my window...
Woman: Did you just throw something out of your window!? (meanwhile I'm sitting in a convertible, she had already made a fool of herself)
Me: Yeah, a cigarette butt, why
Woman: Do you know thats illegal! How harmful it is for the environment!?
Me: (pause for 5 seconds while brain thinks of comeback)
Me: Yeah, well, if being fat was illegal, you'd be in fucking jail.
Cue green light
Shocked woman winds her window up, defeated, annoyed.
The point I'm trying to make here, convolutedly, is that smoking and ditching cigarettes out of a car window is no more harmful to the environment than the amount of food wrappers half of you fat retards go through every day, so next time one of you self-righteous little fucks thinks its cool and politically correct to make a comment about me smoking, think of this:
A: How fat you are
B: If your not fat, how little a life you have that you feel the need to comment on someone else's life
C: The knife or shiv that may or may not be plunged into your body if your unlucky enough to say it to the wrong person
D: If it smells that bad, then move the fuck away, because smoking isn't going anywhere, whereas you can...with your legs...you cunt.
Sorry to those of you who actually are fat but are all for smoking, I feel for you I really do. I'm always available to go on runs with if you feel like shedding some kilos. Alternatively, you could come to tank every saturday, take a bunch of green hearts and be awake for the next four days. "Maximillian's Sure-Fire Guide to Weight Loss" as its called in the industry.
Get to it fatties
As for all you children out there, smoking is the way to go. As you can see the coolest people ever to have lived all do it or did it.
I remember reading this post a few months back, and i absolutely loved it!, it reminded me of myself when i'm in a really bitchy mood and i just take it out on the first thing to come near me. Anyways, just expressing my love for Lovescousin, yet again! keep it up!